True confession time: I am a RED hot mess. Ok I have to laugh at myself now because really my life is incredible and with the same breath it is a total and complete mess. It is messy with all that goes into having a marriage of over seven years, a child beginning kindergarten, a mother in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, a job managing people, another job helping people to heal and well you get the point. Life is funny with its paradox of being so simple and yet so, so complicated. And I hate to break it to you but so is yoga. On the surface yoga is simple. We do what our teacher tells us. We breathe. Easy? Yes sometimes…there are days when I can not wait to get on my mat to just simply be. Where I get to feel my body, my strength, my flexibility and all I hear is my own breath in and out. There are days when my mat is heaven and a respite away from it all. And then my red hot messiness creeps onto my mat. I do that thing that we yogis never do…I compare myself to others and I fall short. The busyness of my life creeps onto my mat and my breath feels shallow or even worse I never even make it to my mat. Sometimes my body is so tight and constricted that my practice is full of hard effort and challenge. Sometimes my own stories of not being good enough come screaming onto my mat and my yoga becomes just as messy as my life.
So when my life is a red hot mess and my yoga is a red hot mess what is there to do? Do the incredibly easy and the most challenging thing – choose love. I will say it again choose the side of love, make every single choice be one of love. Go ahead love your own hot mess for this is what is means to be human. Love both the ease and complexity of yoga for this yet another expression of the divineness of humanity. Love every mistake, every fall out of balance for this is how we grow. When I sob, “I don’t know what to do. This is so hard.” my coach, Dr. Matt Lyon tells me succinctly “make the choice of love”. What does it mean to be so present in our practice, in our lives that the choice of love is truly simple? Honestly, I’m not sure. I really don’t think that there is an arrival point, for life and love is a journey. So just as the never ending cycle of the breath in and out choose love…until the end.
(Inspirations: my own soul, Sera Beak and Matt Lyon)