There is an impulse in all of us to love. There is also an impulse to hate. In fact, frequently (if not always) we hate the very things we love. It’s not an easy thing to hear, or to come to terms with in our own psyche, as we frequently see things as good or bad, see ourselves as good or bad, judge ourselves and constantly evaluate whether we or the world around us fits into one box or the other–the good being embraced and drawn closer, and the bad being moved away from, discarded, ignored or avoided.
However, underneath the good or bad labels and judgements is the movement of life–fears, joys, motivations, desires that make us so very HUMAN–and the life force that fuels all of that. The power of thoughts, feelings, and sensations can seemingly overwhelming at times, especially when these seemingly opposing forces of love and hate, or good and bad crash together in our minds and hearts. At times, when someone I love does something I CAN’T STAND or seriously hurts me, I get confused about the whole thing. Are they good? Are they bad? Was what I loved in them just an illusion? Am I crazy? Am I the bad one? What’s the truth? These are all really normal questions. One possibility is to suppress or write off the opposing forces, focus on one side and leave the rest. Another possibility to keep asking questions, to turn toward these difficult emotions and to see what lies beneath them, to feel the emotions without the story charge behind them, and to step more fully into the present moment, with all you see, and stick with it and one layer of understanding gives way to a deeper one. This “second” path is one toward wholeness and Truth–your Truth–as you witness it directly.
The path toward Truth is not an easy one as it may shake the very foundations of who you take yourself to be, take you into the dark night of the soul. But this is the path of the human being, endowed with self-awareness, thrown out of Eden, if you will, with the apple from the tree of knowledge. And it is our choice which path to take. Which path do you take today?
Call to Action: Take a moment to be with yourself. Where do you find yourself today? How might you find support for yourself–whether in self-reflection, reaching out to a trusted friend, or reading something inspirational?