“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” – Rumi
The temptation to not renew the lease was there. The temptation to shrink, to contract, to pull away. To go back to being small: one location, less staff, less effort. Sometimes this is the answer, to pare down and cut back and I do find comfort in safety and in the quiet of not being bold. Without risk my ego is safe from potential loss, from failure, from making mistakes and from all of my imperfections. My ego stays intact in playing small and by not asking my staff and my business to step up. Even writing this is a risk because it could STILL be an epic failure. My gut deep inside, though, sings a very different story. My soul knows that one MUST risk looking like a fool to truly live and this holds true for my business, Be Yoga & Wellness. To shrink was and is not my answer.
So instead of shrinking we decided to expand, not in the metaphorical way but with real money and real commitment. We renewed our 5 year lease. We allocated $25,000 for a significant refresh of our physical space, which is a lot of money for a relatively small yoga studio. We asked our staff to step up with some concrete goals and expectations, knowing that some would not rise to the challenge. We made room for the “YES”, for the stepping in, knowing that the answer could be “no”, and prepared ourselves to move forward and take action hearing both.
To be honest, this leap into the unknown was both personally terrifying AND paradoxically life affirming. Just like Kali’s sword, destroying that which does not serve our highest good, Be Yoga had to let go of the old to embrace the pulse of life to move forward. Our studio was recreating the cycle of death and life and I felt the pull inside for a certain outcome. I like the simplicity of amount in equals amount out. I want to know that my hard work and efforts will reap great rewards (and I’m not talking just money). Simply put, I want to know that my ego will stay intact, unscathed by failure or even worse the loss of being liked by others. Inside, I paradoxically dance with the knowledge that things don’t always go according to plan and my innate trust in divine grace
Going with great trust, we cleared the space to make it ready for walls to be relocated, ceiling tiles to be replaced and fresh paint to be applied. Again I felt the paradox of emotions: sadness over the recognition of what was not working. Hope for what might be. We all like a success story, and Be Yoga is a success story with the ending not yet written. I cannot yet tell you exactly how it plays out. I can tell you, that I personally feel reinvigorated, recommitted to the vision of Be Yoga. Rumi says: “You are the universe in ecstatic motion” and I am. As I risk with my business, my capacity to hold paradox deepens. My capacity to risk my heart with great courage expands. Be Yoga, at every turn, beckons me to evolve, grow, expand sometimes in uncomfortable ways and sometimes with wonderful ease as I surrender and allow. My ego self must take a backseat as I make more space to hear my higher self. For me perhaps it is better said: surrender and BE with the universe in its ecstatic motion.